Parenting in Jane Austen's Persuasion
The Fault of Favoritism Displayed by Sir Walter Elliot
Dec 26, 2008
In her novel Persuasion, 18th century author Jane Austen provides modern-day readers with a fascinating look into the different styles of parenting she witnessed during her lifetime.
The novel follows the emotional progression and romance of Anne Elliot, the daughter of a gentleman. Though it is a love story on the surface, Austen also comments on many social issues, including parenting.
As 21st century parents, it is easy to get caught up in the latest child-rearing fades that pop up in the bookstores on a weekly basis. And sometimes in the midst of all the new ideas, parents forget what it’s all really about: the children. One of the many things Austen points out in her classic novel is the parenting faults that were rampant in her time, and still are prevalent today.
Classic Fault of Favoritism
Bad parent example A is introduced in the first paragraph of the novel. Sir Walter Elliot is a single father with three daughters. His wife, Elizabeth, died 14 years ago, and with her died all love for two of his daughters. Sir Walter displays one of the most dangerous parenting faults: favoritism. He adores his eldest daughter, Elizabeth, because she is haughty and beautiful, like him. He has no patience, however, for his less gorgeous daughter, Mary, and even less for his intelligent daughter, Anne.
Mary redeems herself slightly in her father’s eyes by marrying into a wealthy country family, though she receives no additional title in doing so. To Sir Walter, title and name is everything, and he determines all worth on that scale.
Anne is deemed a total failure because she does not take haughty pride in their family name as Sir Walter and Elizabeth do. She recognizes the absurdity of relying on titles and gravitates toward those who find deeper meaning in life.
Parenting at a Distance vs. Micromanagement Parenting
As a father, Sir Walter fails miserably at raising his two youngest daughters. He pays little attention to them and leaves their development to his wife’s friend, Lady Russell. He only steps into their lives when he sees something happen, which might impact him, like marriage. Sir Walter remains a physical presence in the lives of Anne and Mary, but refuses to play an active emotional role.
His involvement in his daughter, Elizabeth’s life is much different though. Sir Walter takes immense pride in her beauty and continually takes her on trips to different cities to show her off. He even attempts to arrange a marriage for her with his heir, Mr. Elliot. While this action may seem undesirable, Elizabeth is enthralled with the idea of becoming Lady Elliot and is despaired when her potential fiancé shuns her. Though Sir Walter dotes on his eldest daughter and provides her with every attention he can offer, she remains unhappy.
Chained to her father, Elizabeth remains unmarried due to the lack of an acceptable suitor and continues to serve as the lady of his house as she nears her middle age years. She is forced to watch her sisters marry happily while she continues to live with her father with no prospects of change.
Balance is the Key Component of Parenting
Neither of Sir Walter’s parenting styles should be replicated. His lack of attention to his younger daughters produced insecurities in each as well as a certain amount of resentment. The favoritism also causes a division among the sisters, resulting in unhealthy relationship with one another. Elizabeth looks down on her sisters, especially Anne, and maintains a rude attitude toward them due to the way her father brought her up. He ingrained in her the idea that she is superior to everyone around her, including her younger sisters.
Sir Walter’s lack of affection and attention was harmful as well as his overly affectionate presence in Elizabeth’s life. Balance is the key component of parenting. Too much attention is suffocating, but too little is detrimental. Sir Walter, as well as parents of today, need to find a balance between the two. Children need attention as well as freedom.
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